recommitting

I have been on a bit of a weight loss mission for the past few months, because let's face it, I was getting tired of seeing my fat rolls in the mirror in yoga class.  I also want to be in great shape and feeling good about myself and my body before I start teaching others and preaching about the benefits of yoga.  

I started this process in January after a hard month of stress eating and grief drinking in December.  It was not my finest hour, y'all.  Because I knew I was starting a weight loss competition at the first of the year (and I was watching the jackpot skyrocket), I may or may not have gone extra overboard over that time.  I think I might have put on an extra five pounds in the week between Christmas and New Year's alone.  It was gluttony at it's absolute finest.  I have a pretty loose attitude about food because I do work hard in the gym and yoga studio but at this point, I was doing neither of those things and holding myself back from nothing in the food or beverage department.  

January was a very restrictive food month for me.  I was calorie counting and working out hard since I wasn't working at the time.  Weight literally fell off because I completely altered my habits and got serious.  Going from overdoing it at every meal to mindfully eating and choosing healthy options at every opportunity made a huge difference.  OH- and I also didn't drink.  That was a huge boost in the calorie reduction department.

February started out exactly the same and I was feeling SO good.  I got a little bit derailed on our ski trip and started picking up the boozing again on occasion.  Toward the end of the month and into a good portion of March, we started the process of getting our condo ready to hit the market and a few other stressful things were going on so I kind of adopted a see how little I can eat every day diet plan.  It was anti-fun and absolutely terrible for me but I had no appetite.  I can remember getting through an entire day on little to nothing and having Adam force me to eat something for dinner.  Sometimes eating at dinner would make me sick.  It was bad.  Shockingly (or not-shockingly if you know a little bit about nutrition science), I ended up staying at pretty much the same weight that entire time and feeling rather sucky all-around.  I was still doing yoga off and on but most days, I'd finish work at noon and get home and pass out.  It was not a good time.  Somewhere in the middle of March, I started to hit a stride again with eating.  I stopped feeling sick and awful all the time.  I started practicing yoga basically every day. I lost a few more pounds here and there.  

April was nothing to be exceptionally proud of.  I spent at least one day each weekend being entirely too drunk.  My eating was fine but could use a great deal of work.  We ate at too many restaurants and I imbibed too many beers.  The best thing about not drinking at all in January was that in February, I could have just a couple of drinks and feel satisfied.  I want to get there again as opposed to these benders I've been on lately.  Luckily, because I have been working hard in the studio, my weight has stayed within the same three pound range.

Starting yesterday, May 1st, I wanted to recommit myself to this journey I am on.  The hardest part for me about said journey is that I have what I think is my "goal weight" in mind but I'm not sure if that is attainable in the first place or if it will push me to a place that I don't want to be at.  I know I still have some body fat that I could stand to lose, I'm just not totally sure about the best way to go about it.  I've been trying new workouts (TRX) and now the weather is nice enough to allow for some biking and running outdoors.  I know what I have in mind for my goal weight body, but I have no idea what the number on the scale would be to get there.  

At the very least, this means in the short-term:
more workout days than rest days
not being quite so indulgent and then lazy on the weekends
trying to shoot for only one meal out a week
choosing fruits and vegetables first

We'll see at the end of the month how I do!