everything is awful

Haaa.

It's better, by a little, than March.  At least we're used to and completely desensitized to things being cancelled by now.  But it doesn't suck any less when it happens.

Texas started the reopening process at the beginning of May.  We never saw a dramatic drop in cases, despite being mostly closed for 1.5 months.  I think that was problematic for reopening but also, how were we going to stay closed for longer when our case count was still so low. 

Things were incrementally increased throughout the month of May, more businesses allowed to open, more capacity in open businesses, etc.  Some social gatherings were allowed if outdoors.  I don't know what happened in there (some blame it on Memorial Day, some blame it on protests, some blame it on increased testing)  - I personally believe it was just a mix of all the things and that everyone was just complacent after being cooped up for months and not seeing a big rise in the cases.  Either way, I believe Texas's case count has tripled or more in the last 3 weeks.  It's not great.  We actually know people tangentially that have or have had Covid.  Offices were opening but now are closing back up again.  Restaurants are back to 50% capacity from 75%.  Bars are once again shut down. 

Last week felt a lot like March again. I drank too much, had trouble sleeping, it was just hard. I have major doubts about what the fall will look like for Owen for school and for both of us for work.  Thinking about the future gives me a lot of anxiety.

Adam did an antibody test through work that came up non-reactive, which was a total bummer.  We were sort of hoping he'd been asymptomatic and that maybe we'd all already have antibodies. 

It's been a roller coaster.  I vacillate between being overjoyed when we get to do anything abut also feeling the despair of feeling like I'm living a watered down version of my life, where nothing is as good as it once was.  It's a weird spot to be in and a strange way to feel, to be certain. 

Last week I was in this place where I thought I'd lose my shit if I heard one more person say, "I'm waiting to do XXX until there's a vaccine" as if that is guaranteed.  This week I feel more hopeful that maybe there will be a vaccine and we'll get past this.  I keep thinking about the Spanish Flu pandemic and hoping that this just takes it's course over the next few months and rides off into the virus sunset (NEVER TO BE HEARD FROM AGAIN GTFO CORONA).  It's a pretty unhealthy place to be in terms of my mental health. 

I'm up a little more than 10 lbs since this started.  Goal is to work on that in baby steps first.  Lose the Covid weight.  Work on the Move-To-Houston weight.  Work on drinking less.  Work on sleeping more and consuming less news.  Work on the things that I can change. 

Halfway through 2020

Let me start of by saying - this year sucks.  We'll be halfway through on Wednesday.  It sucks to look back and think "cool. six months of the year are gone. two of them were fine. four of them sucked."  What's even worse than that is knowing that the next six of this year are likely to continue to be pretty crappy. 

Without further adu, let's see where we are on this goals list.  BLAH.

1. Leave the country at least once.  - THIS IS NOT LOOKING PROMISING. Dammit. 

2. Run the Chicago Marathon and beat my time from 2009.  Just waiting on them to cancel. I've already planning on not running because I don't want to do a watered down version of it. 

3. Take Owen on another mother/son trip. This is still in the realm of possibility... we'll see. 

4. Keep working on strength and yoga classes (goal is 4X of each per week)  Strength A+++ I've done probably 200+ classes this year already.  Yoga... abysmal fail. 

5. Do at least one major house project to get it over with! Likely O's bathroom.  We refinanced the house and for the same payment we were able to pull out about half of what we need.  That plus some aggressive savings means that we're getting ready to gut the kitchen, laundry room, powder room, O's bathroom and do some of the not so glamorous stuff like re-piping the entire house and reinforcing our attic.  

6. Date night once a month in Houston.  I think we've actually been managing this???? YES. 

7. Figure out better sleep habits with the Whoop.  Sleep? HA.  To be fair, I was doing really well with it before COVID so I'll give myself some grace on that one. 

8. Get back to 2017 fighting weight and eating habits.  EPIC EPIC EPIC FAIL. I've come real close to gaining the Covid 19. 

9. Start budgeting every month with discipline.  I didn't do well with this but I am ready for you July.  We now have a car payment that I will attack with vigor. 

10.  Astros away game in Atlanta.  WAHHHHH. 

11. Go somewhere completely new.  Fingers crossed we can go to Panama City Beach in September (rescheduled from May) so I can get this one. 

12.  Galleria staycation at Christmas and summer at the Marquis.  Summer is not looking great at the moment... we. will. see. 

13.  Do something creative, even if it's just one of those drunk painting places. Yeah. They're all closed. Add to the list of I will do it if I can. 

14. Take Owen to College Station.  We were scheduled to go in April.  Sad day. I might take him in the fall if the kids are back on campus. 

15. Meet Pelo peeps at HRI and hopefully meet Jess Sims or Matt Wilpers!  DOOOONNNNNNEEEEE CHECK CHECK AND CHECK! NAILED IT! 

16. Continue to learn to be a better listener, you know, talk less, smile more.  Nope. 

17.  Let's try this again.  3/4 fruits or veggies with every meal.  So far so terrible. 

18. Do something really fun for my birthday since it's A) on a Saturday and B) the big 3-9!  All I want for my birthday, Christmas, all the everything is an effective vaccine! 

19.  Reorganize things I can change at work.  I think this is going well ish.  

20. Figure out my new retirement savings situation.  Work in progress.  On the positive side, Peloton stock tripled since we bought it. WOOT.