Friday, March 29, 2013


Tomorrow marks 35 weeks of pregnancy and the fun little 35/35 milestone.  (35 weeks down, only 35 days to go until due date!)  My appointments are always on Fridays so when I go next week, it will be considered my 36 week appointment.  I'm really excited to see my regular doctor again.  I think it's been something like 12 weeks since I've seen her because we rotated through all of the doctors in the practice.  I'm both equally excited and horrified about potentially having my first internal check.  Excited that we're really getting close and horrified about what the actual check really entails.  I refuse to read about it and I'm just crossing my fingers that the extremely irregular contractions that I've had have started to make a little progress.

Given that it will be April on Monday, I'm getting really excited!  I just have this feeling that we'll be welcoming him in the month of April and not going all the way until May 4th.  Physically, I feel ready! Despite my limitations, I still feel really strong and each time that I workout, I just imagine that I'm training for labor and delivery.  It's working really well for my mental status, it feels awesome to have a goal to "train" for.  I've been going to some more arm-focused classes at Pilates and I am loving that I'm still able to feel good both during and after class (although being totally honest, it runs through my mind at least once during the 50 minute sessions that just maybe this should be my last class- this feeling usually snaps when we change moves to something a little more comfortable in my body).

I went to prenatal yoga last night and it's getting CRAZY up in there.  When I started, I was only 25ish weeks and I remember thinking how awesome the ladies were that were 38/39 weeks.  Last night, there was one other lady that is 39 weeks and one that is 37 weeks and then ME.  I will be one of those ladies that the 20ish weekers will be looking at in just a couple of weeks.

Adam and I went for a little swim the other night and honestly, other than my shortness of breath, I was able to forget that I'm huge for the time we were in the water.  When I got on the ladder to climb out, I felt gravity kick back in and remembered that Oh Yeah... I'm 34 weeks pregnant.  In the last week every time I stand up, I feel like gravity is pulling him and my belly downward (YES!) and it's kind of amazing to think we're in the last legs of our journey together.

I'm so glad that we decided to share Owen's name.  It's made him seem like a person to me already.  So much so that, I've noticed that even in the car, I don't feel like I'm completely by myself.  I wonder if other pregnant ladies ever feel like that... but I just feel less alone, kind of?  It's an almost impossible sensation to describe but he's so active all the time in my belly that I always feel like I'm with someone even when I'm not.

I've said it a hundred times and will probably say it at least that many more but I am so excited for him to finally be here and to get to know him and his little personality.  The little face shot we got at our last ultrasound reminded me of my brother when he was a baby so I wonder who Owen will look like and what traits of ours that he'll take on.  I'm sure that mentally we'll never be fully ready for him but I think we're about as close as we can get at this point!

Thursday, March 14, 2013


From the moment I found out that I was pregnant, it was like a switch inside me went off and I started to become more like my mother.  I used to think it was so funny that she worried about ever-y-thing and now the joke is most definitely on me.  I worried because my only pregnancy symptom at the beginning was period-like cramps and that they made me come in for an exam and an early ultrasound to make sure I wasn't either miscarrying or having an ectopic pregnancy.  I've worried about Owen dying before being born countless times, with the most recent gripping fears coming this week when he was having a lazier than normal day.  I worry about his kidneys, I worried when they told us that they were a soft marker for Downs, I worry that he's too big for my body to handle, the list of worries regarding him goes on and on.  The worst part is that I worry about how much I'm worrying and he's not even born yet!  Damn it.  The mother's curse.

As I said, he had a particularly lazy day on Monday.  Adam's busiest time at work is right now and he's been out of town for almost every weeknight during March so far.  He's actually been out of town almost enough nights to earn gold member status for his hotel points this year and it's not even half way through the third month of the year.   I'm not normally afraid to be at home alone (while I'm not in love with it) but the fact that we had a backyard raccoon invasion last week that tormented Higgins and I combined with a murder of an elderly widow in her home only two blocks away over the weekend that was all over the news this week had me a little spooked.  When you add that to the fact that I'm already getting up anywhere from 5-10 times a night to use the bathroom, I've not been feeling so great and humanly with the lack of sleep.  Owen is normally insanely active and when I struggled to get him to move around on Monday, my mind went in a million different directions and 999,999 of them weren't good places to go.  I think the lack of sleep goes a long way to explain the heightened anxieties but it doesn't help that the already Crazy Dog has been extra neurotic of late with Dad's travel schedule, Mom's giant belly and the middle room being flipped upside down in preparation for the baby.  He spent a solid hour pacing the house on Monday night as though there were someone outside.  We made a fabulous pair, Neurotic Dog and Anxious Me.

I'm also wrapping up work on Sunday and teaching my last two yoga classes next week, and while this is a very, very good thing, it's also a huge life change for me at a point where I'm grabbing for any strings of normalcy before Owen's arrival.  To add into the mix, we have our appointment with the perinatologist tomorrow for what we're not sure will be the last ultrasound of his kidneys before birth or not.  Since we started this process, they've mentioned over and over this is our time that we'll be recommended to the pediatric urologist but we haven't really discussed what exactly that means or what our next steps might be with either him or the perinatology team.  I don't have particular anxiety about the appointment but I am stewing over what kind of answers we might or might not get tomorrow.  I'm also nervous that he'll continue to be a giant baby in there, which may lead us down some different roads than expected.

While I'm being all poopy and venty, I might as well also include that I mostly feel like first trimester icky now.  It's not nearly as bad but I am back to the world of getting sick multiple times a day and the worst part is that I have regained my previous aversion to coffee, such sadness!! This time is easier though because I already went through the never ending 22 week all-day every day sickness but also because I know how close we are to the finish line and to me regaining my body back from the hormone shitshow.  HORRAY for pregnancy.  I have no idea how people do this more than one time.

To end on positive and non-anxious notes, I'm still working out.  Pilates has been my pregnancy godsend, and while I have to modify lots of it at this point, I'm still able to rock out a good portion of the classes.  Prenatal yoga gets more relaxing as I get more uncomfortable.  Every day is a day closer to holding that sweet boy and we are both really excited about that.  Being done with work means being home more and will give us some stability that we haven't had with our schedules in the last year and a half.  I'm also going to take up some water aerobics classes in these last weeks for fun!  And I have a few more weeks to be totally gluttonous without feeling terrible about myself.  WOO HOO!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Is it time yet?

I've reached the point in pregnancy where the fear of labor and delivery has been overtaken by the immediate need to evict this ever-growing baby from my body.  My lungs are SMOOSHED and he insists on spending most of his days doing what feels like stretching and kicking my rib cage.  The pain feels kind of like your worst ab workout soreness only without the satisfaction that you're working toward a six pack.  I've also finally hit that point where I have to go to the bathroom approximately 1,000 times over the course of the day and night.  Sleep is becoming ever more illusive as I struggle to get comfortable and eating an entire meal has become nearly impossible without feeling like my belly is a balloon ready to pop.  Basically, I am about ready to trade all of those things for the still very scary process of getting him outta here and the aftermath of that (and I need to do myself a favor and quit reading about recovery, I'm kind of hoping to be bathed in a post-baby happy haze so much so that I won't remember most of that part).

Baby Owen is consistently measuring 2 weeks ahead and our last ultrasound (which I'm going to consider as our last reliably accurate sizing ultrasound as it was at 28w6d and they get less and less accurate as time goes on) had my due date at 4/24.  I'D LOVE THAT!!  We've moved into every 2 weeks at the OB and we still have at least one more kidney-related ultrasound with the perinatologist next week.  On the kidney front, things have remained about the same, they are still larger than they should be but everything else is indicating that they are functioning as they should be.  This 32 week appointment that we have next week should give us some more clarity about where we go from here.  We haven't really talked much about what happens next other than potentially meeting with a pediatric urologist.

We did our L&D tour and we start our baby classes this weekend.  I have everything from childbirth class to our car seat inspection scheduled and we are inching ever closer to being "ready" for his arrival.  I think both Adam and I are just ready to move on into this next stage of our lives and enjoy watching our sweet little dude grow on the outside of my body.  My last day at work is on St. Patrick's Day and I know we are both looking forward to more meals cooked at home and a more peaceful schedule.  After next week, I'll be doing prenatal yoga, water aerobics and walking until after Owen comes.  Doing my regular regime of normal people yoga and Pilates is starting to become more trouble as I have to modify nearly everything I'm doing.

Owen is still kicking and hiccuping away in there!  Other than a couple of less-than-fun Braxton Hicks contractions that kind of freaked me out, I think he's firmly ensconced in there and it seems like he's in no mood to escape just yet.