I had to go to a customer service training for work today (we won't discuss the fact that it is the fourth time since I started in January that I saw what is essentially the same presentation, ahem). Before it really got going, the owner of our company started talking about the current economy and what it means for our business (i.e. a more "fringe" type expense that most people can easily cut out of their budget). He was saying that maybe this is our new normal, meaning that we might not ever see times like we did a few years ago when the economy was good. It was super depressing to hear, mostly because this very successful man was articulating something that's been rolling around in my mind ever since we put the condo on the market. And that maybe he and I are both right and that this sucky time of uncertainty and working very long hours for no extra pay for most people could be the new reality for a long time. Sad.
Last week I wrote a post about the condo but it was really not coming from a place of love, only anger. I waste a lot of time and energy being angry about the situation and even more time and energy trying to figure out how not to be so darn angry about it all the time. But the bottom line is that I'm working on it and some days are just a futile effort. So I'll spare you the anger and just say that things are moving in a direction that we're not exactly happy with and we have some big decisions to make in the coming weeks.
On a lighter and happier note, teacher training is going well! It's hard and overwhelming if I start getting ahead of myself, so I am taking it one day and one week at a time. Tonight we had a chance to go to a cadaver lab at one of the local colleges. It ended up being super cool! I wasn't as sickened or upset by the bodies as I thought I would be. It's actually very yogic to not identify your Self with the body, as those who donated their bodies to science so we could learn from and study them did. I have this total disdain for the idea of being buried and I think after that I'll probably look into donating my body to science so some crazy people who want to be yoga teachers can look at my muscles, tendons and ligaments. Some of the students were really in to the whole thing and touching everything but I was more than happy to watch from afar and do my visual learner thing. Muscles = cool. Intestines = yucky.
My actual classes where I am the student and get to practice yoga are going well. I'm loving the intensity that trying to rack up hours has brought to my personal practice. I don't think I am losing weight but my pants are all saggy butts and I need to think about getting some new ones. I am exploring lots of new postures in the classes and I'm enjoying challenging my limits on a daily basis. I still suck at getting up for morning classes on the weekdays, I think I'm just a better at nights. We journal on the regular for our program and I'm actually finding that exploring my feelings and patterns that I'm drawn to has been beneficial. I am definitely changing myself (hopefully only for the good) from the inside out.