Well, it only took me three weeks or so to finally regain a semblance of control over my emotions! Ironically, it occurred around the same time that my body started regulating and adjusting to breastfeeding. The only thing that wasn't good was that I think with the loss of some of the out of control hormone levels, I started to actually feel some of the pain of recovery. I feel like Week 3 hurt worse than Week 2! I think that post-partum recovery is often one step forward and two steps back.
Owen is growing like a weed! He'll be one month old on Thursday and I'm excited to do a post for that. I had started his baby journal book while we were still at the hospital but this week I finally got all of the pictures printed and did his big scrapbook too. It was a lot more fun looking back at my pregnancy than I thought it would be.
Mentally, I feel so much more like myself now. Physically, I feel like I gained 10 lbs in the past week and I've refused to get on the scale for almost two weeks now. Tomorrow after the holiday, I'm putting both Adam and I on a "diet", which basically means for me, I'll be tracking my eating and for Adam he'll lose a ton of weight just because I'll be cleaning up my diet and making more healthful meals. I gave myself the month of May to really enjoy myself when it came to eating and drinking but it's time to get serious. I'm planning to start running again this week (bending the recovery rules just a bit) and I'll be hopefully cleared to go back to my normal routines when I see the doctor in two weeks. I want to feel good again and healthy. It's also an example I want to set for Owen. I've said that I'd do another marathon but I want to do it when Owen is old enough to remember. I want to always set the example of a healthy lifestyle for him (with balance of course) and I always want him to see me as a strong person who can do anything that I put my mind to.
I'm toying with the idea of possibly going back to work in October. I don't know any of the details yet but it's been quasi-overwhelming to look at potential child care and Mother's Day Out options. I know I'll be back to teaching after he gets his two month shots in July so he'll be exposed to some child care during my classes and I believe firmly that it'll be good for both of us to have the time apart. For me, to be back to teaching and for Owen to learn to be comfortable with other caregivers and other kids. We'll see what opens up for me as far as my job situation. It will be an interesting road to travel and one that I didn't think I'd go down so soon. I have to admit that when we were leaving the hospital, I had a bunch of anxiety about my new identity as just "Owen's Mom". I have nothing against being a stay at home mom but I did enjoy my work and I like the financial freedom that working outside the home brings me. As with so many things that have come up for me and us since the turning point that was the positive pregnancy test, I've made decisions that I never thought I'd be making. Never say never, I suppose, is the best motto for this parenting gig.
We had a mini milestone yesterday when we went back to church for the first time since Owen was born. He was awake for the whole service but whenever he got a little grunty, Adam just gave him his pacifier and it did really well! We don't have any more visitors scheduled so we're just going to settle into our little life here. Overall, I'd say we're all doing better than I expected :)