I've always been lucky to get along with guys really well. I spent a relatively good amount of time growing up with my brother and dad and they taught me quite a few things about sports. I actually enjoy watching sports and learning all the tricks of the game (except football, I will never understand it because college and the NFL have way too many different rules that confuse me). I've always had at least one close guy friend involved in my life. Partially because I share the common sports interest but partially because there are a lot of women out there that are just downright mean and/or hard to be friends with.
I'll never understand why some women/girls are so catty and mean. The movie Mean Girls was written by Tina Fey and has a great deal of truth toward real life in it. No one has ever tried to fatten me up with nutrition bars, to my knowledge, but I have had my fair share of "mean girls" in my life. Without getting too specific into the exact situation, I unfairly beat myself up when "mean girls" are around in my life. I spend entirely too much time thinking about and being upset about the situation, when in reality, I'm not missing anything by not having people like that as my friends. I will never understand why women do the things they do to tear down other women. When someone else judges me for the things I'm doing in life, it's a reminder to me that I need to do what is going to make me happy and be the best thing for my marriage and life, no matter what someone else might think. It's also a reminder that I should strive to be a little less judgy myself.
Having someone take a snarky attitude toward me when asking about my job last week really got to me, a great deal more than it should have. I spent a good portion of time being really upset about that and a couple of other things. My dad had a long talk with Adam yesterday about me and how I've been feeling lately about all of the things going on in our lives. It was a huge wake up call to me that I need to take control of my own destiny again instead of complaining that I'm waiting on so many things are completely out of my control. I can do things that will make me happy while I'm waiting. My first step was to get on the internet and seriously research some yoga teacher training programs. The great thing about the possibility of doing yoga school in Chicago is that I have several more options. I found a program yesterday that starts in early June and is only 8 weeks! If I like the school/studio/instructors, I want to try to do it. Why wait until the fall? Why should I sit here and complain about my life and "career" being on hold when I have all the power to change that?
It's hard to hear that your family is worried about you. It stings a little bit to know that. But I'm going to take this moment in time to change my way of thinking about all these things. I have touched on it before, but I know that my grandmother would have told me awhile ago to snap out of it. I need to honor her memory and do what I know she would have encouraged me to do.