Wednesday, April 27, 2011

marathons and too many plans

I, like so many other people I tend to surround myself with, have an uncanny ability to overschedule myself.  I got a friendly reminder from God and fate of my talent to do that today.  A few months ago, on a whim, I did what I said I would NEVER do and applied for the New York City Marathon lottery.  I said after Chicago '09 that I wouldn't run another marathon because it was so time consuming to train and the almost six hours that I spent on the course were really dang hard.  I walked a marathon for the Avon Walk last summer and started letting thoughts creep up into my head that maybe I should do another one, a big exciting one like New York.  (I've read testimonials that people like it better than Boston.) (And also, isn't that how childbirth works?  You forget the memories of the actual difficulties of pregnancy and delivery just in time to start having more children?)  Knowing that the chances of me actually getting picked to run it through the lottery were fairly slim, I went ahead and registered for it, without thinking it though and just figuring I'd find a way to make it work.  Part of my motivation is that after three years of not getting in through the lottery, you are given an automatic entry and I figured I should start that process at some point.  

Today was the drawing and I did not get in.  I feel a pretty big wave of disappointment because who likes to get rejected?  Not me, no matter the personal commitments and consequences involved.  After pondering it for awhile, I realize that this is just a sign telling me to slow down.  Adam and I have been talking about the possibilities of me going to yoga school in the fall regardless of where we're living, which would be at least a three month time commitment.  I wouldn't have been able to do that if I were marathon training because I couldn't miss an entire weekend of classes, not to mention the training requirements and trying to fit that in with a full-time job, my personal yoga practice and trying to go to school both days of the weekend.  This is just a step in the direction of pushing me toward facing my fears and getting my certification.  Despite the sting of being bummed that it didn't work out this year, it may be telling me that I am meant to do this next year or another year after that, when we are more settled in our lives.  

My faith is constantly being tested right now but small reminders like today give me reasons to still believe that God is always leading me in the right direction and on the path that I, and I alone, should be on.  And also, that I should watch what I have on my plate to make sure that it's just the right amount of activities and not overloaded.

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