Monday, October 10, 2011

closing up shop on the pity party

My back is still jacked.  The chiropractor thinks I have a herniated disc in my lumbar spine (low back- L4 if you want to get particular, due to my symptom of wrap around pain in my glutes and the front of my hip).

I have had two treatments at the chiropractor and since Friday, I've been faithfully icing it at least three times a day.  The icing part may not sound like much, but I have this thing where I really hate to ice anything due to an unfortunate skin burn incident during the marathon training, where Adam told me to quit being a wimp and I ended up with a faint discoloration on my right leg to this day.  I've been banned from practicing yoga, which does affect the way that I teach somewhat, for the time being.  I have three (expensive) treatments on the docket for this week.  But the worst of it is that I'm not feeling any relief yet.  My x-rays came out fine, there was a tiny white spot on the vertebrae where she thinks I'm having the issue that is a little arthritic looking but nothing that we shouldn't be able to correct.  After two more weeks of treatment, I'd have to have an MRI for a closer look at everything if I haven't felt any improvement.  I won't think about that happening yet, because it a. ties my stomach in knots and b. it's not going to be necessary.  I will feel better soon.

It's been a difficult and emotional process for me.  I don't like being limited in my mobility but I also am in either sharp pain or discomfort about 70% of the day, especially when sitting down.  I can't seem to find a single seated position that feels right.  I feel awful for anyone who has chronic spinal pain, it's AWFUL.  I spent several days having a personal pity party and luckily Pinkberry is a drive from the house so I have been too lazy to actually go there despite lots of whining that I want it.

Having this giant pity party hasn't done anything for me.  It's actually really stupid.  I am young and healthy and my body will heal itself if I am patient and give it time.  I have nothing to feel sorry for myself about.  We are here in Texas, where the temps are still in the 80s everyday instead of inching our way toward the long, hard winter.  I have hardly opened our coat closet (and we actually HAVE a coat closet)!  We are celebrating our first anniversary this weekend and even though we've had some crummy things happen this year, overall, I can look back and say that our relationship is the best it's ever been and we've strengthened our marriage by dealing with hardships together.  I am doing EXACTLY what I want to do as far as my own work, I have my dream jobs and I'm getting to spread my passion and love for yoga and running all around.  We have friends all over this area who've opened their homes to us and come to visit ours.  We have enough room in our home to properly host our families.  We have Higgins who is the dearest soul of a dog.  We are happy and feeling truly satisfied with our lives.  Just ask Adam about his life here and he will tell you he loves his job and that he can play golf or go to the driving range several times a week (he'll also tell you that he's getting better at golf, ha!).  I have a little thing going on in my back but it hasn't limited every activity for me, I can still do anything that doesn't involve a lot of bending over.  I will be fine and I firmly believe that once I get my mind behind it, I'll start to feel better.  It's been easy to think about the large birthday I have in another month and a half and think of myself as old and decrepit, but that's not the right attitude to have to fix this problem.  Consider this pity party OVER.

1 comment:

  1. I completely applaud you. It SUCKS but it'll get better and it sounds like you're acknowledging both, which is awesome. Looking forward to lunch Wednesday and thanks again for hosting US this weekend and for the really fun night out.