Monday, July 25, 2011

just as usual

Changes in this world
But flowers will open
Each Spring
Just as usual.

Japanese folk Zen

We were asked to memorize a quote for training yesterday and this is the one I picked.  It actually came from one of our texts that I don't particularly care for, but the quote spoke to me since we have been/are going through/will encounter so many changes since we got married in October.  I've lost sight of the fact that there are many things in life that bring continuity a few times.  I think it's a reminder for me to not let my world get rocked so much because there are still so many things that happen just as they should.

I'm admittedly not a "quote person" and it was hard for me to work in my quote and what it means to me in my teaching (although, I will admit they gave me one of the "surrender poses" where everyone is basically laying in a tough stretch (half pigeon if you know what that is) and I had a decent opportunity to talk about it).  It was hard because I followed an especially poignant moment where one of my fellow trainees talked about her quote during the half pigeon series and I felt kind of inadequate.

Bottom line is that yesterday was hard.  We had to be at the studio at 8:00.  Not having to be at work until 10:00 has spoiled me, it's not that I sleep in but I'm used to having space in the morning to do some of the things I don't have time to do at night.  Because we were teaching to each other, it meant that we were basically practicing yoga, the same sequences over and over, from 8:00-11:30 in the morning and again from 1:30-4:00, with an advanced class sandwiched in between.  My back is aching and my right glutes that have been bothering on and off for weeks have flared up big time (here's a random tip, just enjoy your yoga sometimes and don't be like me and always looking to feel some sort of sensation and push your body past it's limits).  I wasn't called on to teach until the very end of the afternoon so it was a long day of being kind of nervous and wondering which section I would teach.  It was also our last day of teaching clinic, which makes me sad and a little nervous.  I will miss getting the feedback and the opportunity to improve.  While I'm very happy to be so close to finishing the program, I am extremely apprehensive about what my next steps will be while we're still here in Chicago.  I'm not looking forward to not having the distraction of 20 hours of classes a week while we're still trying to sell the condo and get our situation sorted out.

Because even though it seems like everything is changing, there are still so many things that will happen just as usual...

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