Thursday, September 1, 2011

last day

The one thing I didn't plan for when I started this blog and wanted to document this move was the long period of time that we are essentially homeless.  We do own the condo still and are "living" there for all intents and purposes, however, we're not spending any time there beyond sleeping on the godforsaken air mattress because we have no furniture to sit on, no TVs to watch and no internet from which to blog from. My intention was to be able to run each morning and still have time to get to work early enough to sit and have breakfast and blog.  I figured out quickly that I'd have to get up way too early for my comfort since I'm not sleeping so well on the mattress so that plan was scratched.  I ended up blogging on Tuesday during my lunch break.  I'm hoping we can get the internet situation figured out when we get to Dallas, since the La Quinta Uptown will be our home for the first 5 days.  At least I'll be sleeping in a real bed- cheers to that!

Anyhoodles, it's been an interesting week.  I've been feeling a lot of emotions all up and down the spectrum from happy to sad.  Today is my last day at work and I've been feeling surprisingly sad about that.  Despite the utter boredom that I felt most days, it's been a good experience and I've worked with some fun people that have been very supportive of my goals to get yoga certified.  I'm going to miss it a little bit more than I originally thought I would.  It's a comfortable place to go and a place where I feel relatively at home.

I'm feeling very apprehensive about the logistical aspects of the move.  All of our stuff could be in Timbuktu for all we know at this point.  I'm worried that it won't arrive on the ninth, which is Adam's last business day before work.  I really want to have the apartment set up as well as possible because I know that it will bring him some comfort when he's starting his new job.  We've taken care of as many of the details that we can but we still have to buy a car on Tuesday, which makes me pretty nervous.  I'm hoping we find something that we'll be happy with and will make a great family car for many years to come.  Adam is going to Mexico early tomorrow morning and we're not planning for him to use the international plans on his phone so it will be the longest time we'll ever have gone without being able to talk to each other.  Even longer than my days of international flying with United.  I've never been "that girl" but I really hope he makes it home all in one piece.  This trip is just another piece of the logistical puzzle and I'll be happy when it's over.  There is only a little more than twelve hours from the time he gets back to Chicago until our flight leaves for Dallas and given my airline background, my mind has worked through every possible scenario that means he doesn't get back in time.

I'm also feeling nervous about the emotional aspects of the move.  It's going to take some time for me to find a job and I am worried about that process.  It's also going to take some time for both of us to adjust and make new friends at work and in life.  That part of it scares me a little bit because I feel like it will be my fault if Adam ends up hating life in Dallas.  I highly doubt that either of us won't like it, there are so many things we're looking forward to but sometimes I have irrational fears about things.

I'm thankful that we've been using this space to record our thoughts.  I truly can't remember how I felt when I came here or moved to DC.  I know that I must have had some worries or fears, but I don't recall.  It's funny how time has a way of erasing so much of the rawness of emotions and pain.  I must have been slightly worried!  Both times, I loaded everything into my SUV and drove for hours away from my family and my home by myself.  There must have been some irrational fears, after all in DC, we had never even laid eyes on the area or our apartment until we got there.  At least from this time, I'll have a place to go back and remember how this felt.  At least this time, I'm going with my best friend and partner in this life and we're headed toward family and home.  There will be a period of adjustment and transition that won't be easy to get through, but I think that the rewards will be worth the risks we are taking.

(and if I'm being totally honest, I'm also a little worried about getting all of the stuff that we kept here into the bags we have to take it home in- the two of us are going to be a disaster when Sally and Kevin meet us at DFW on Monday with about 10 bags between us!)

Last day at work = cake for everyone! 

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